It Must Be 10 Years Since I Saw You
It’s been just over a decade since I ventured into the gates of Deer Creek Amphitheatre in Noblesville, IN on 6/19/95 as a Phish newbie for what would inevitably be an evening that changed my life forever.
I’d been listening to the band for a little over a year at that point, having been introduced by my collegiate housemates who taught me that Reba was more than just the “bag it tag it” song and would play the You Enjoy Myself from A Live One at excessive volumes every single day. By the time I made the journey down to my first show I felt that I was familiar enough with their music to be comfortable. Luckily for me, no amount of pre-planning could have possibly prepared me for what was to come.
The band was magic that night. They engulfed me in a beautiful picturesque perfect first show. Needless to say, I was hooked.
I’d never experienced anything quite like that display of musical synchronicity in my entire life and for the first time realized how much Art can be a hugely unifying force in our world. I distinctly remember looking across the crowd on the beautiful lawn multiple times and feeling that the entire audience was in sync. We all felt like we were on to something, discovering once again what perfection could look like and for each of us, enjoying the moment. At least, that’s what I felt.
Reflecting back over the last ten years, it becomes easy to pin-points moments in time when that feeling came back and the moment was just right, they tend to bubble to the surface. For many summers, life became about getting back to those moments - from the Gorge to the Went, Shoreline and Alpine, it was vacation and camp and a family reunion, all wrapped into one. I had not only found my fun - Phish became more than a passionate hobby or obsession, it was simply the thing to do.
Amazingly, the band built a loyal following by breaking all the rules and making up some of their own. They embraced classic word of mouth strategies that would make modern day marketing majors drool and gave people a unique night of their lives that would keep them coming back for more. The shows sold themselves, as fans would walk away blissed and blessed to be in attendance. Naturally, the scene grew as fans were unable to resist telling their friends about the good times they were having and wanting to share the magic.
Phish built trust. Each show was a chance for something new and different, and they seemed to never left an opportunity to play with the audience pass them by. From the Secret Language to Gamehedge, trampolines to vacuums – Phish had stories, mythology and drew us in closer night after night as they quested to try something new and continue to push the boundaries of what was possible. Taking risks and paying off (most of the time), they rewarded the trust with nights for the ages, a unique, authentic, remarkable experience which convinced people that they were a group to follow and invest in.
Even when not actually at the shows, we were motivated night after night to check in and see what they were playing, read endless words about how the music sounded, how was the show, and how it made those lucky enough to be in attendance feel. Our own human nature pushed us to seek the good times, re-visit the moments of bliss and give ourselves goals to get back there, if only for an instant. This is why we’d drive thousands of miles, endure the most difficult conditions and subject ourselves to struggle and challenge in order to align ourselves with the possibility of greatness. For that one perfect moment.
I distinctly remember staring up at the scaffolding of The Gorge in '97 and reminding myself that there was no where else in the world that I’d rather be. "here I am again". Phish was the reason and mission to converge.
It’s easy for me to reflect back and only remember the good times. Life tends to reward us that way. Needless to say, I think the break-up of Phish hit many fans in all sorts of different ways. For some it was inevitable, for others it was incomprehensible. Like any loss, many fans have been fit with a sting of grief. Manifesting first as denial (I can’t believe it!) to anger (how could they?!), bargaining (just one more show!), depression (this sucks!) to finally acceptance (I’m 30 and I understand).
It’s difficult to let go and accept the departure of something we took so seriously for so many years and gave us so much joy. But for the better, we have the luxury of the past experience, and are able to look back on what was with a sense of fondness, while doing our best to try and not let it reminded us of what it is not now.
I draw my daily inspirations from music. Lyrics and melodies and peaks guide me to what I believe is right. I thank Phish for opening me up to these lessons and possibilities. With the often misunderstood timeless lyrical genius of “Surrender to the flow”, “Take care of your shoes”, “You can feel good!”, “Can’t I live while I’m young?” combined with incredibly bright celebratory musical peaks - Phish let each of us take the experience for what we felt it was worth and walk away feeling that much more fulfilled. It was a match made in heaven, and I truly enjoyed the ride.
-Andy Gadiel
June 2005
I’d been listening to the band for a little over a year at that point, having been introduced by my collegiate housemates who taught me that Reba was more than just the “bag it tag it” song and would play the You Enjoy Myself from A Live One at excessive volumes every single day. By the time I made the journey down to my first show I felt that I was familiar enough with their music to be comfortable. Luckily for me, no amount of pre-planning could have possibly prepared me for what was to come.
The band was magic that night. They engulfed me in a beautiful picturesque perfect first show. Needless to say, I was hooked.
I’d never experienced anything quite like that display of musical synchronicity in my entire life and for the first time realized how much Art can be a hugely unifying force in our world. I distinctly remember looking across the crowd on the beautiful lawn multiple times and feeling that the entire audience was in sync. We all felt like we were on to something, discovering once again what perfection could look like and for each of us, enjoying the moment. At least, that’s what I felt.
Reflecting back over the last ten years, it becomes easy to pin-points moments in time when that feeling came back and the moment was just right, they tend to bubble to the surface. For many summers, life became about getting back to those moments - from the Gorge to the Went, Shoreline and Alpine, it was vacation and camp and a family reunion, all wrapped into one. I had not only found my fun - Phish became more than a passionate hobby or obsession, it was simply the thing to do.
Amazingly, the band built a loyal following by breaking all the rules and making up some of their own. They embraced classic word of mouth strategies that would make modern day marketing majors drool and gave people a unique night of their lives that would keep them coming back for more. The shows sold themselves, as fans would walk away blissed and blessed to be in attendance. Naturally, the scene grew as fans were unable to resist telling their friends about the good times they were having and wanting to share the magic.
Phish built trust. Each show was a chance for something new and different, and they seemed to never left an opportunity to play with the audience pass them by. From the Secret Language to Gamehedge, trampolines to vacuums – Phish had stories, mythology and drew us in closer night after night as they quested to try something new and continue to push the boundaries of what was possible. Taking risks and paying off (most of the time), they rewarded the trust with nights for the ages, a unique, authentic, remarkable experience which convinced people that they were a group to follow and invest in.
Even when not actually at the shows, we were motivated night after night to check in and see what they were playing, read endless words about how the music sounded, how was the show, and how it made those lucky enough to be in attendance feel. Our own human nature pushed us to seek the good times, re-visit the moments of bliss and give ourselves goals to get back there, if only for an instant. This is why we’d drive thousands of miles, endure the most difficult conditions and subject ourselves to struggle and challenge in order to align ourselves with the possibility of greatness. For that one perfect moment.
I distinctly remember staring up at the scaffolding of The Gorge in '97 and reminding myself that there was no where else in the world that I’d rather be. "here I am again". Phish was the reason and mission to converge.
It’s easy for me to reflect back and only remember the good times. Life tends to reward us that way. Needless to say, I think the break-up of Phish hit many fans in all sorts of different ways. For some it was inevitable, for others it was incomprehensible. Like any loss, many fans have been fit with a sting of grief. Manifesting first as denial (I can’t believe it!) to anger (how could they?!), bargaining (just one more show!), depression (this sucks!) to finally acceptance (I’m 30 and I understand).
It’s difficult to let go and accept the departure of something we took so seriously for so many years and gave us so much joy. But for the better, we have the luxury of the past experience, and are able to look back on what was with a sense of fondness, while doing our best to try and not let it reminded us of what it is not now.
I draw my daily inspirations from music. Lyrics and melodies and peaks guide me to what I believe is right. I thank Phish for opening me up to these lessons and possibilities. With the often misunderstood timeless lyrical genius of “Surrender to the flow”, “Take care of your shoes”, “You can feel good!”, “Can’t I live while I’m young?” combined with incredibly bright celebratory musical peaks - Phish let each of us take the experience for what we felt it was worth and walk away feeling that much more fulfilled. It was a match made in heaven, and I truly enjoyed the ride.
-Andy Gadiel
June 2005
posted by Andy at
6:30 PM
<< Home